Friday, July 10, 2009

I feel like I need to

Blog. It has been way too long. I think I've been in kind of a rut lately. Yes, I've lost weight. Yes, I look good. But, holy cow! I was exercising almost every day for the last 180 days! That takes a lot out of a person. And yet, since I've sort of been taking a break lately and starting a new routine, I've started to miss my daily workouts. Today, in fact, I decided I would actually "treat" myself to a little Kenpo action. And boy did I need it. That workout makes me sweat like crazy, and I just felt so much better afterward.

So, I got a weird email from a friend asking if I was going to be going to my high school reunion. Huh, well, since I haven't heard anything about it, I hadn't really planned on it. I have definite mixed feelings about the whole thing. Ten long years have gone by since high school, but I'm not sure if it has been long enough for me. I never felt like I belonged there, at least not until the very end of my senior year. Up to that point I felt like an outsider. Most of my classmates
a. were related,
b. had been together since Kindergarten.
It was really difficult for me to make friends. Which sucks, because I would have LIKED to have been friends with a lot of the kids in class. Maybe it was harder since there were 15 guys to 5 girls in the class (ok, so the numbers kind of changed as it went along, but that's how it started out). I guess I'm not saying that I didn't have ANY friends in high school, because now that I look back on it, I remember having good times with a lot of my classmates. It is just that, in the last 10 years, there are very few people I went to high school with that I've stayed in any sort of contact with. It might have to do with my changing belief system over the years. Or the fact that now I'm a navy vet and don't have a lot in common with the majority of the kids who stayed in ID, got married, had kids, whatever. But, regardless of all that, there is a part of me that wants to go back to Bancroft in my little red dress, and blow them all away with my smokin' hot body! (: You know what I mean? That, and the fact that I've been sort of successful: nuclear electrician, bachelor's degree, working on master's degree, homeowner, world traveler, that sort of thing. I feel like my life is exactly how I wanted it to be, even though in high school I wouldn't have been able to tell you how I wanted my life to be. In fact, I would have told you exactly what you expected to hear: marry an RM, have kids, blah, blah, blah. Not that I'm saying that life isn't good for others! It is! I'm just so happy with the way my life is right now (how many times can I say that in one blog post?) that I guess I never imagined my life to be this good. I never imagined that I could have such control over my life. That I could grow and make changes. I always thought that I was one way, and that was the way I was always going to be. Destined, I think is the word. Well, thank goodness I met Matthew Emerson, and he showed me that I can do ANYTHING and if I don't like something about myself (like my weight) then I can CHANGE it.

And if there's anything I've learned in my experience with Matthew and with my studies in developmental psychology (which has been sparse, but we get some in my education classes-must figure out how kids develop cognitively and socially, you know?) it is that we can always be better. There are always improvements we can make. Nothing is set in stone. Choice is yours. Take it!

Ok, well I stayed up exactly 1 hour later than I wanted to, but I still have plenty of time to get a good night's sleep before Matthew comes home from work and we start our next workout. I'm SO ready! :)

Good night everyone.

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